I Failed the Test

some one tested me...
and i failed.....

i did??
yes i did fail the test
but it's OK, this is the way it has to be
sometimes things went far away from your expectation
sometimes things better not to be expected
sometimes someone doesnt meet your expectations
and so're you

but what is the sorrow for??

I HATE U

I HATE U

I HATE U

I HATE U

I REALLY REALLY HATE U

Secret

Actually, i hid some thing(s) from my husband which i always wish that he would never known about it. it was a mistake(s) but i know i never want to do it again.

but what if we reverse the situation where my husband was hiding something from me and accidently i found out about it.

i cant stand with this situation anymore. but i just want him to make an inisiatif first.

Hurted

it's been a long long time ago since the last time i got this hard hit. well then unfortunately, i cant still as though as i thought i would be. the tears still roll down in anytime and anywhere they want to.i felt reluctant to gohome yesterday, but i remembered what my mom said about not to leave home in any worst condition of your marriage.i went home, finally, after spent about 40 minutes at the bus shelter of cawang, shedded my tears, thinking and try to clear my head.but i picked up raka first and at home in almost 9.

he was sleeping........
until the morning came..........

he always does that..............

better be sleeping rather than trying to make up with things..........
or with me...........

so, how long will you be sleeping hubby?
how long?

how long will you try to have me back?
to win my heart back...?
cause u got a lot of chances....
when the words of 'maaf' seems not enough, sometimes it's only need to be complited with your act with some of another words...

that's that baby...
i dont know what was i thinking when i finally decide to send you the sms-es

i still couldn't think....

Ga Jadi

Ternyata barang yg gw ceritain di posting sebelumnya ga jadi kebeli karena ada fatal error... jadi dibalikin, padahal udah naksir berat ama paket lensa nya.

dan sebagai gantinya, jadi beli baru deh dengan lens kit std (18 - 55 mm), tpp gpp.. ttp suka kok

btw anyway...
this morning i accidentaly found something that put me in an odd situation. between torn apart and being reminded about mistakes i did in the past days. i really dont know how to respond.i really love bursting out all of my anger but at the same time i took this as a thing that i deserve.

it just didnt fair. but i did an unfair things too.
but why??????? why should be this way?????

why my husband?

why?

Praying

Semoga barang yang gw beli senilai rp. 7,1 jt nanti bisa membawa keberkahan.... (apa sigh)

anyway, this is a hobby only, hanya saja semoga gw ga bosen untuk belajar dan terus belajar....

(the goods is still on its way to me from Bandung... ga sabar pengen megang)

Damn

I saw this adv yesterday :

Detail Produk


Nikon D40x kit 18-135mm + VG
Kategori : SLR-Kit
Merk : Nikon
Kondisi : Bekas : 93 %
Harga : Rp. 7.249.999,00
Jumlah persediaan : 1
Nama Anggota : Erick Suria Mulyadi
Tanggal Posting : Selasa, 20 Jan 2009, 13:44:05 WIB
Keterangan:
Kondisi 95%lengkap box dll
SC <20rb>

VG merk Jenis

kit-nya 18-135mm yah, bukan 18-55mm (kit-nya D80)
optik lensa ga pake jamur dll
bonus SD 2 gb buat yang ga nawar
Mohon jgn tanya :- Lokasi di mana ? ==> dah sy tulis..
- Boleh kurang nggak/nett-nya berapa? ==> langsung tawar aja
- masih ada ngga ? ==> kalo ga ada dah ga ada di thread
- masi garansi ngga ? ==> kalo masih, pasti sy tulis..masi garansi sampe ....dd/mm/yy

Tulis nama barang yang sedang ditanyakan (sms)
Terima TTBandung, jl. Sultan Tirtayasa no. 17
081 224 77 288 (Erick)
081 221 63 602 (Heru)

www.gudangkamera.com
ym : ruthndul88ym
: ahmadpahlawan

Terima debit BCA/kartu kreditgaransi fisik 1 harigaransi fungsi 1 minggubuka jam 10-18 setiap hari termasuk sabtu & minggu

and.. this conversation happened just a minute after i saw the adv :

rizkikomalasari (1/20/2009 1:54:34 PM): selamat siang..... mo tanya soal d40x yg ada di FN pak....
ahmad pahlawan (1/20/2009 1:54:43 PM): bole
rizkikomalasari (1/20/2009 1:54:55 PM): klo 7 dapet ga.. "D
rizkikomalasari (1/20/2009 1:54:58 PM):
ahmad pahlawan (1/20/2009 1:55:42 PM): tambahin 100rb deh..
rizkikomalasari (1/20/2009 1:55:51 PM): lokasi di bandung yah?
ahmad pahlawan (1/20/2009 1:55:59 PM): yup
rizkikomalasari (1/20/2009 1:56:21 PM): tambah 100rb tp udah termasuk ongkir?
ahmad pahlawan (1/20/2009 1:56:31 PM): kirim kmna ?
rizkikomalasari (1/20/2009 1:56:39 PM): saya di jakarta
rizkikomalasari (1/20/2009 1:56:55 PM): kantor di sudirman, mungkin kirimnya kesana
rizkikomalasari (1/20/2009 1:57:31 PM): itu kit-nya 18 - 135 ya ?
ahmad pahlawan (1/20/2009 1:57:42 PM): yup..
ahmad pahlawan (1/20/2009 1:57:43 PM): brb
ahmad pahlawan (1/20/2009 1:58:40 PM): seeeppp ?
ahmad pahlawan (1/20/2009 1:58:53 PM): bca 7770159649 erick suria mulyadi
ahmad pahlawan (1/20/2009 1:58:57 PM): alamat kirim ?
rizkikomalasari (1/20/2009 1:59:10 PM): saya bisa Dp dulu ga pak... book...
rizkikomalasari (1/20/2009 1:59:17 PM): full amountnya baru bisa hari kamis
ahmad pahlawan (1/20/2009 1:59:25 PM): sisanya kapan ?
ahmad pahlawan (1/20/2009 1:59:29 PM): dp brpa ?
rizkikomalasari (1/20/2009 1:59:34 PM): 500?
ahmad pahlawan (1/20/2009 1:59:49 PM): kamis tuh bsok ya ?
rizkikomalasari (1/20/2009 1:59:59 PM): lusa... sekarang selasa
ahmad pahlawan (1/20/2009 2:00:01 PM): tgl 21 jan ?
ahmad pahlawan (1/20/2009 2:00:07 PM): seeppp
rizkikomalasari (1/20/2009 2:00:15 PM): okeh....
ahmad pahlawan (1/20/2009 2:00:16 PM): bs 5jt dulu ga ?
ahmad pahlawan (1/20/2009 2:00:21 PM): masalahnya..
ahmad pahlawan (1/20/2009 2:00:29 PM): sy kudu belanja lg nih
rizkikomalasari (1/20/2009 2:00:42 PM): klo 5 jt nya hari rabu gimana?
rizkikomalasari (1/20/2009 2:00:50 PM): baru ke kuras nih rekeningnya
ahmad pahlawan (1/20/2009 2:00:56 PM):
ahmad pahlawan (1/20/2009 2:00:59 PM): ya udah..
ahmad pahlawan (1/20/2009 2:01:04 PM): DEAL !!
rizkikomalasari (1/20/2009 2:01:15 PM): sekarang 500 rb dulu yah.... booking fee
ahmad pahlawan (1/20/2009 2:01:23 PM): seeep
rizkikomalasari (1/20/2009 2:01:33 PM): besok 4,5 juta
rizkikomalasari (1/20/2009 2:01:40 PM): terus kamis sisanya
ahmad pahlawan (1/20/2009 2:01:46 PM): ok
rizkikomalasari (1/20/2009 2:01:56 PM): barang dikirim klo dah lunas ya ?? he he he...
ahmad pahlawan (1/20/2009 2:02:06 PM):
ahmad pahlawan (1/20/2009 2:02:11 PM): ya dong
rizkikomalasari (1/20/2009 2:02:14 PM): ini sama bapak ahmad?
ahmad pahlawan (1/20/2009 2:02:21 PM): yup
rizkikomalasari (1/20/2009 2:02:22 PM): ada nomor kontak pak?
ahmad pahlawan (1/20/2009 2:02:32 PM): 081 221 63 602
rizkikomalasari (1/20/2009 2:02:32 PM): saya kiki 0811920136
ahmad pahlawan (1/20/2009 2:02:38 PM): 022 701 81 791
rizkikomalasari (1/20/2009 2:02:57 PM): nanti klo 500 rb nya dah saya trf saya kabarin ya...
rizkikomalasari (1/20/2009 2:03:05 PM): btw sd cardnya include yah!
ahmad pahlawan (1/20/2009 2:03:21 PM): kalo ga nawar tuh
rizkikomalasari (1/20/2009 2:03:30 PM): yah.. kan nawarnya cm 150
rizkikomalasari (1/20/2009 2:03:39 PM): plis pliss... he he he
ahmad pahlawan (1/20/2009 2:03:39 PM): hehehe
ahmad pahlawan (1/20/2009 2:03:51 PM): sy kasi yg 1gb deh..
ahmad pahlawan (1/20/2009 2:03:54 PM): 2nd
rizkikomalasari (1/20/2009 2:04:04 PM): siiipp...
ahmad pahlawan (1/20/2009 2:04:17 PM): sececpatnya yg trx nya...
rizkikomalasari (1/20/2009 2:04:21 PM): btw itu kondisinya seperti yg ditulis kan yah.. masalahnya ga liat barang nih
ahmad pahlawan (1/20/2009 2:04:30 PM): sy mo cabut dulu
ahmad pahlawan (1/20/2009 2:04:34 PM): garansi bos..
rizkikomalasari (1/20/2009 2:04:42 PM): oke.. nanti saya sms soal 500 rb nya
rizkikomalasari (1/20/2009 2:04:49 PM): thx pak!
rizkikomalasari (1/20/2009 2:13:53 PM): bos... 500rb udah di transfer nih.... mo difax bukti transfernya ga?
rizkikomalasari (1/20/2009 2:16:42 PM): ada no fax nya?

I must be crazy doing this thing.... and i just made the full payment today....

We celebrated our 4th-anniversary las Friday (16/01). i took a day leave and planned to go to Dufan with my hubby. since it's a wet season and we worried about the 'banjir ROB', we canceled the plan. so there were we confused without a plan.

and he said he need to go to Mahameru first to give his employee some 'receh'.ok, and i went along with him. and did some banking stuff at Tamini square. about 10 am, we finished the banking stuff and decided to go PS to redeem some Sogo shopping vouchers.it took us to 11.30 am to finish the process. since it's friday, i let my husband did the 'Jumat'an' while i took some window shopping with a pair of Zara discounted-grey-shoes as the result.then we had a lunch at bakmi GM (not a romantic one that i've been dreaming of). after the lunch, we discussed what to do next. 'movie would be fun' i said.. and we checked what movies were playing at some cinemas. nothing interested him.and he suggested to go home coz he wanted to take raka to mushola for 'jamaah magrib'. then there were we... towarded to home..

over all, it was far far away from what i dreamed to have for my 4th anniversary. but well, it's ok.. we might do better next year.. so that's that...

btw... about the Zara sale-shoes : not quite comfort to wear, but it's ok, hope i'll get used to it and i bought a new pair of casual-Airwalk shoes too today (shoes?? again?). i bought them to meet my need of a though-casual shoes for daily wear especially to catch the bus up.

that's all

it gets deeper

someone.. please please help me....

i

still

am

dying

i want it ..........

i want it ..........

i want it ..........

i want it ..........

soooooooooooo baaaaaaddddddd

I'm Dying

to have this one...
but a lot of things on recent situations made me not to buy that things soon
wait for me baby.. pleaseee